How are you?

Never has another question startled me as much as this one:
How are you?
Ca va?
你好嗎？

No matter in which language
It scares to the degree that I would turn to another direction and run away

How am I?

Let me tell you,
When I say, I'm fine
I actually mean, I'm fucked up.
When I say alright,
I actually mean, nothing's right
When I say not bad,
I actually mean, it's too bad to begin

I can't answer you in detail
or a slice of honesty
Because I'm too ashamed to admit how chaotic my life has become
I'm too scared to tell people how weak I am

I rather stay silent
Or trivialize you with insignificant details

Would it help if I reveal my self-destructive lifestyle?
Would it help if I admit my incapability?
The god-damn self-esteem forbids me
The small vanity I accumulates stops me

Or let's say, I'm too coward to confess
Knowing that people might see me differently
Or even worse, people would just leave a comment and gone
Leaving me helpless at the same position

If you cannot help, why should I tell you?
If people don't really care, why should I be honest?
If life cannot progress lineally, then why do we grow old everyday?

I want you to ask and not ask me,
How are you?
I want you to care and not care,
How am I?

If you choose to ask, be sure that you know how to respond
When I fail to give a positive response.

How are you?
I'm fine.
And you?